Episode 178: When Divorce is a Form of Abuse

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of domestic violence, emotional abuse, coercive control, childhood trauma, and high-conflict divorce. Some topics may be difficult to hear. Please listen with care.

The relationship is over. The abuse isn’t. And somehow, the kids pay the price.

For some people, divorce means a fresh start. For others, it’s where the real nightmare begins.

Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry, co-founders of Been There Got Out, know firsthand what happens when an ex refuses to let go of control. Now certified high-conflict divorce strategists and authors, they help people navigate the legal, financial, and emotional chaos of separating from someone who seems more interested in punishment than resolution.

In this episode of Giving Pain Purpose, Lisa and Chris join Lyndsay for an eye-opening conversation about narcissistic behaviours, coercive control, legal abuse, and the ways children become caught in the crossfire. They unpack the red flags of a high-conflict divorce, why traditional advice can backfire, and how communication, documentation, and understanding the family court system can make an enormous difference.

This conversation hits especially close to home for Lyndsay, who opens up about the abuse, broken promises, and parental conflict that shaped her childhood—and the wounds she’s still making sense of decades later.

The most important battle isn’t always the one happening in court. Sometimes it’s making sure the next generation doesn’t spend a lifetime healing from it.

Important Information:
If you or your children are in immediate physical danger, call the police or contact your local domestic violence center.  

• National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 800-422-4453 (USA)